


Then VS Now

by barrybinary



Series: DC Tumblr Prompt Fills [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: First Crush, M/M, Prompt Fill, Temporary Character Death, You Know Who, if i should tag anything else then tell me because i got nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 17:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15175412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barrybinary/pseuds/barrybinary
Summary: A lot can change, but some things stay the same.--anonymous:"can i ask for robin!jay having a crush on dick first time he saw him?"EDIT: now invietnamese!!thank you @simplynotaclone on tumblr!!!





	Then VS Now

The first time Jason, a small and hungry pre-teen, saw Dick’s smile, he knew he was done. The whites of his teeth were burned into the back of his eyelids; the ways in which he moved his hands while speaking were committed to memory; the happiness in his gaze was mimicked as best as possible. He was the symbol of what a hero  _ should  _ be – the type of hero everyone  **wanted** .

Jason, in his early years, tried, and tried, and  _ tried _ to be the Golden Boy, the original Boy Wonder. He bent his body in ways it was never taught to move, trying to imitate the fights Bruce had on record involving the acrobat. He practiced smiling in the mirror, wondering why his face wouldn’t do it the same way Dick’s did. There was a tenseness to his cheeks Dick didn’t have, a discomfort around the eyes he felt he could never hide. 

It was silly, but he thought maybe if he molded himself to be more…  _ Dick Grayson _ , he’d be able to stand himself, look himself in the eye when he saw a mirror and not hate everything he saw.

Not everything about Nightwing was  _ right _ , but, while Jason didn’t exactly agree with treating bad guys like glass, he could appreciate the thoughts Dick had about it. Dick saw everyone as someone who could get better; Bruce did, too. It seemed so obvious to Jason, that some people just  _ couldn’t be fixed _ no matter how many times you sent them to Arkham. But they hadn’t lived like Jason, seen what he’d seen, they didn’t  _ understand. _

Jason may have believed people could be redeemed, in another life. One where his mother hadn’t succumb to drugs sold to her by people who fed off of her addiction, lacing it with more and more things until it became pure poison and she died on the bathroom floor, needle still sticking out of her arm. Maybe if his father hadn’t made him take part in his criminal work from the age of  _ five _ , he would have the same hopes Nightwing and Batman carried about others and their ability to grow. 

When you see starving children being beaten by adults – when you  _ are  _ the starving child being kicked on the floor – it makes it hard to see the potential good in others.

Even having experienced all that and disagreeing with their way of…  _ disciplining  _ criminals, Jason still looked up to Dick. The hero who came and went as he pleased and made friends wherever he went. His smile still comforted him in a dark bedroom; a hand on his shoulder still put butterflies in his stomach.

Time passed, and he was less blinded by the light that was Bruce Wayne and the Batman. He saw flaws in his ways, spoke up about it, and took  _ action. _

And it just so happened that was when he  _ really _ questioned his place in Bruce’s operation, he fell by the Joker’s hand.

– 

Jason, newly Red Hood, sat on the ceiling of a bank in Bludhaven, watching  _ Officer Grayson  _ patrol the dark streets. Jason did his research, knew the police were even more corrupt than Gotham’s. Dick probably had some dreams of  _ cleaning it from the inside out _ , or something equally as optimistic and naive.

He watched an arrest, laughing quietly when the perp actually tried to fight  _ back _ . Dick was a better fighter than any professional and could take out the entirety of Bludhaven’s police force without breaking a sweat.

Dick was followed for a long time, making Jason wonder if he was new at this and if they made  _ all  _ newbies go out into one of the most crime-ridden cities in the dead of night. Eliminating the people who could bring change in the department, perhaps?

Watching Dick, even in his police uniform, reignited old feelings long thought dead. While a civilian, his walk was still the same. Sleek and efficient, like the rest of him. He felt the need to go toward him, that he’d be  _ safe  _ there.

He let out a scoff at the thought, catching Officer Grayson’s attention. His head snapped to where Red Hood now crouched, stories above. He used the lenses in his mask to magnify the image until he saw the confused furrow in between his brows and the lip movement of his partner asking him  _ what’s wrong. _

In less than two seconds, he was off the roof and grappling away, pulling up to a roof nearby and sprinting, jumping across roofs to where he parked his motorbike. He revved the engine, hearing police sirens in the background.

There was no point even  _ if  _ the sirens were for him; they’d never catch him.

He sped off towards Gotham, determined. While he may not be like Nightwing, the hero everyone  **wanted** , he knew one thing: he was the hero the people  **needed** , the one Batman and Nightwing could never be, no matter how much Dick’s smile meant to him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the prompt! [here](http://haljords.tumblr.com/post/175569910158/can-i-ask-for-robinjay-having-a-crush-on-dick) is the link to reblog it on tumblr if you'd like :)


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